The True Meaning of Friendship

In our lives, we sumptuously surround ourselves with a lot of friends—of course, because we are social beings. We count them, we cherish them, and we rely on them. But have we ever asked ourselves what is meant by friends? Are the people around us really should be considered one? The question is crucial and sometimes can be a matter of life and death. Our friends around us can shape our conception of reality and, to a certain extent, determine our destiny in this world. That’s why it is of paramount importance to dissect what is meant by friends—so that we can know who really are our friends that should surround us.

There is a great Roman philosopher who wrote about friendship, Cicero, and he posited a gem of idea that, “Friendship only exists between good men.” This is a good thesis and proves to be actually true, reflecting, though in simple terms, a philosophy of real friendship.

In our actual dealings with people, there are many who want to magnetize with us as friends or vice-versa, but so infrequently that we thoroughly examine first whether they would augment in us moral maturity, be it in work or business, educational institution, or any social gatherings. We rush to acquaint ourselves with them as we let them immediately enter our inner social circle, most often because we are afraid to feel lonely or isolated, and so we fail to magnify their real identities, as whether they are really good or bad.

It must be written in one’s heart that friendship is deeply rooted in virtue, without which the relationship of friendship will never sprout between two people. Goodness must be its core foundation and its ultimate aim the advancement of moral character. Imagine there are two thieves who proudly call themselves as “friends” always conspiring to commit thievery against their neighbors, the one would tell the other, “Let’s steal the money of our neighbor so we can feast and merry.” Is he then truly a friend? Definitely not. It is not the label or nomenclature of being friends that reveal the nature of such relationship but its fundamental substance, its reality.  If one wishes the evil of another, it defies the essence of friendship. On the contrary, if one wishes the good of another, it fulfills the meaning of friendship. It goes to show also that knowing the anatomy what is good and evil is of inevitable importance to identify friendship. Yes, it is. As if one considers what is objectively evil to be subjectively good, he would be misled and be living in illusion, for he would consider a good friend he who actually leads him to evil.

With all of these, it seems hard to find a true friend. First, because we must know what is objectively good, and second, we must know who is actually good, so as we can finally let him enter our lives. Actually, there is such a Person. He knows what is good and is the source of goodness—He is abounding in the glorious luxury of all goodness. However, He cannot be readily seen in the physical reality, though He was before, as He exists and awaits in the silence of our hearts.